Perfection is in the eyes of Steven
by The Cowardly Christian
Summary: Inspired by dracohalo117's Perfection challenge. Orochimaru is forced to flee to Steven's word to escape his former comrades...and in Steven he sees potential as his 'perfect' host...after some 'alteration's' of course...
1. Chapter 1

**Perfection is in the eyes of Steven**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...

 **AN: this is based on the 'perfection challenge' made by** **dracohalo117!  
.**

...III...

Slenderman was bored...which was bad since when he got bored...people died...horribly...

He was burning down yet another planet...when he found a challenge posted by a 'creator' in a lap top of a person who was currently writhing in agony on the floor...and he took an interest...

...

Orochimaru blinked, one moment he was in his hidden village of sound...now he was across the table from a cosmic horror that made him wet himself simply LOOKING at it.

Slenderman looked at this in disgust,

"̸̯͕̠̹̟̬̤̬̬̹̊̍̈̕ͅḐ̷̮̝͓͚͉͚̘̠͔̩͙͇̲͔̾̓̌͒̎̌̀͌̆͂̑̕͝i̸̻͓̲̬̲̓̄̌̋̑̈͋̃d̶͎̝̺̤̠̪͎̩̲̹͔̈́̈́͐̇͜ͅ ̴̢̱͍̮̙͍̼͍̝̤̭͓̽̈́̕͜y̴͈̩͎͚̘͓̐̔̈́ơ̸̺͎͚̪͓̥̙̗̼̄̓͒̅̔̒̍͝ũ̸̢̡͓̠̦̬̺͉̣ ̵̡̢̘͚̞̣̜̣͙̠̜̈́̔̋̆̊̃̂̈́̒͝ͅj̴̢͉̮̳̱̰̭͖͕̬̲̤͙̀̈́́̅̃̐̈́̿̆̋̃̒̕ͅū̵̧̨͔͙̱̦̦͊̂͐̍̀̀͛̾͗͠ś̵̼͚͆͗͌̈̔̕t̶̖̟̼̠̬̗̏̋̒̑͆̎̅͒́͂̉͜͝-̶̡̢̡̛͚͙͇̞̥͓͓͈́͆͝ͅͅ ̷̛͚͍̩̖̪͕̝̠̣̘͈͉͕͇͌̇͋͒̇͛̕͠͝ņ̸̳͚̺̬̬̝͊ͅȇ̷̢͎̖͕̫̠̲̺̹͉̈͊̒̈̊͘͝v̷̡̡̞̘̳͖̲̱̹̰̝̫͉͇̝̏́́͑ę̸̠͇̳̖̫̍͒̈̈̎̉̆̓̍̽͝͝r̶̢̧̛̪̯͇͖̟͕̃̀͑̔̄̚̚̚͠͠ ̴̰͙̺̲̞̯̘̗̅͆̂͋͌̈̓̚͠m̸̧̝̣͒̈́͗̅̂̈́̔̈́̚ȋ̴̢̛̮̼̦̭̤̘͎͇́̽̍̐̓͆͌̊̈́͘͘ͅn̴̢̘̺̭̦̮̻̜̂͌͋́̊̔ͅd̸̛̛͕͍̣͕̲̤͇̦̣̮͎͖̅̉̈́̑̐̓͌͋̏̿͝͝͝!̴̢̛̝̬͙̗̊̇̔̇͂̈́̿̈́̕ ̵̜̘̻͔̻̜̒͆L̵̡͚̜̩͗̅̈̍̀͒̔̏̓ỏ̸̯̙͇̝̗̰̗͙͚͑͜͜ơ̴̘̲͍̣͓̈́̕ḵ̵̯͙͕̼͔͙̓̐͠,̶̧̘̿̾́̈͝ ̷̨̢̖̗̯͉̟͖͔̑̒͜͝͝ͅl̶̡̠̼̪̥̬̮̗̫̜̪̖̔́ö̶̲̪͙̙͉̜̥̯̜̜́̀̋͒͗̎̅̓͜͝n̵͓͕͌̅g̷̻̜̞̲͇͇̗̩͍̖̟͔̤͊̾͌̋̂̈́̈͒͘͝͠͠ ̷̗̻͈͉̱̀̅s̷̡̢͙̩̐̈̎̉̀̓̊͘ţ̷̢̭̟͔̫̝̣̲̪̣̫̽͒̿̏̏ͅǫ̸̖̗̱̘͙̯̱͙̻̘͚͍̥̃̈̿̄́̚͝͝r̶̨̫̿͛̄̋͒̎͒ẏ̴̢̡̥͕̳͖̟͇͇̑̄̈͐̄̂̈̐͋͘̚ ̸̧̘̻̥̠̲̻͖̯̄̔̾̇̔͛̉̇̿̏̅͆̈́͘ś̵̢̖̲̯̦̝̖͂̒̏̐͒̈́͛̚ȟ̴̢̖̙͚̟͉̪̦͔̺͈͓͕͓̮̅͑͗̏̉ǫ̷̜͓͈̲͕̘͈̺̗͍̥͓͖̾͜ȑ̷̬̝̘̠̃̓̄̈t̷̨̧̧̛͕͕̤͔̠̫͔̀̑̈́̔͑̌̎͗̑̾̚͜͜:̶̛̫͕͈̞̮̦̥̠̬̪̥̼̪̥̾͛̾̈͌̈̽̀̄͘͝ ̸̧̧̱̻̣̖̘̥̳̞̱̞͊͜Į̷̛̺̗̩͍̦̺̩̭́̇͆͘̚ ̶̫͖̞͖̘̳̜̠͔̟͉̰͈̋͝k̷͔̓́͂̄̉ͅn̵̢͔̂̒̇̀̊́͠ơ̶͕̥̥͙̜̠̼͓̝̓̂̅̉̐͠͝w̶̢͉̮̗̩͎̣̍̈́̎̌͑̍̃͝ͅ ̴͓͓͕̘̹̤̘̳̃̍͛̎̄͛́̊̚͜͝w̷̢̬͚̮͉͋̀̌̐̀̍̓̚͠h̴̟̤̳̠̤̥̋̅̿̈́͒̽̕o̸̼̲̹̠̪̞͈̹̮͎̖̦̿͒̀̒̕ͅ ̸̠͔͉͇͔͔̆̃̓͐̍̆͌͘y̷̙̆ǫ̵̝̪̹̺̮̺̘͚̗̩̜͓̺̅͌u̴̞̖̘̟̘̔r̵̗̈́͑̈̅͗̄̑̈́͆̚ ̵̻͈̲̻̦͚̄͆̒p̸̻̤̲̏̕͜͠͠e̵̛͖͚͍̪̾̎͗͑͋̈́́̌r̸̰̉f̴̨̱̆̓͗̿̒̈́̃͂̂̚͝e̸͇̯̼̫̞̳͎̼͒͘͜c̷̡̢̧͍͎̪͇̙̥͓͓̼͔̣̔̉̾̃t̴̛͍͓̭͎̠̯̦̟̋̂̀̐́̃̆̈́ͅ ̵̢̝̬͍̞͇͖̥̊́̃̎̌̿̂̔̒̚͜͜v̴͎̙̝̥̭͎͐͜͠e̸̹͖̞̟̤̖̬̠̲̘͔̿͋̈̉̍͗͑́͑̈́͘s̸̢̘̠̘̯̭̣̪̲̳̼̘͊̆̎̎̿̈́̎͆̀̽̚͝͝s̵̛̬͗͐̚͝e̶̡̺̻̻͈͉͇̟̻̻͎̺͎̒͛̓̌͗̄̂̾̀̓ͅl̸̢̳͉̦̼͈͉͋̒̿̈̿̄̅̌͋͛̈́̔̍̚ͅ ̶̻̲̲̦̫́̆̀̑͂̾̓̀͗̚͝C̷̲̳̙͇̙̍̀͑̒̀̈͗͗̿O̵̧̪͔̤̲̦̬̲͖̪̠͊Ų̴̝̠̪̠͚̤̹̀̃̈̈́͛̈́́̎Ḻ̷̣͖͚̝͍̘̩̩̟̳̙̫̼̎̐̏̓̀̆̀̿͠D̷̫̟̫͚̠̭̊͋̌̎͑̈͂̊̈̎͘͠ ̷̟͈̞̲̹̼̪̹̖̩͇͖̍̃͒̌͂̇̌̃͌̇͌͆̕͠ḇ̵̗͍͋̑͋̉͝e̷̩̙̦͔̣͈̲͈̖̰͊̊̊͆͑̑͜.̴̦̲̪̣͍̳̺̉͒̀͜ ̷̨̨͖̣̱̃͆͗̄̊̚͜H̴͕̗̠̭̜̊̅̉̔͑ĩ̷̠͍͉̤̪̤̠̻͕̲̭̝͈̯̐͋͗̈́s̸̨̛̳̝̝̱͓̾̀̿́͌̊͂͋̔̍̅̊͠͠ ̶̡̢̛͓̫͖̭̄̂̽͂̀̒̓̚ṇ̸̛̲͆͗́̽̐̒̕å̴̜͕̤̜͙͓̯͙͇̯̙̝̜̘̐̌͆͛̉́̈́̋̿̚ͅm̷͚̓̾̍͊̓͑̂͋̌̃̽͠ë̴̛̹́͛͐̓̈́̐̔̀̿ ̵̧̛̖͎̣̥̻̝̈́̏̀͆͊͛̆̑̓̇̾͘ͅį̴͍̰͇͙̠͇̖̣̣̝͉͔͚̿̂͒͗̌͆͛͋͊̉̓̈ͅs̷̢̨̤̥͇͔̥̩͈̫̮̠̫̆ ̸̧̢̥̱̫̲̜̼͖͉͙̳̪͇͐ͅS̵̱̜̈t̸̢̫̖̟͍͌́́͆̓e̷͇̖̰̺̰̱̞͇͚͒̑̾͆͘͜ͅͅv̵̧̭̪͍̘͓̟̯̉̀̋͑̿̆̓͛̾͝ẻ̵̢̨̻̝̹̩͉̟͇̫͕̝̇̔ǹ̷͇̦͒̈̐̈͑̔̓͠ ̶̡̢̳̻̘̞̙̝̫̜͖̼̃̓́̎͛̓̅̃̆̌́̆͝Ú̷̙̈̊̐̋ń̷̨̫̭̪̞͕̱̈́̄̈̈i̵̛͙̙̲̒́̾̎̂̂̃̓͌̓v̸̛̦̹̣̬̠̤̮̖̹̣̗̲͎̼͐̃̍̄͆̀͜ȩ̷̣̣̗̺̱̺̳̩̥̺͌̿ṛ̷̡̟̭̥̯̳̟̖̳͕̯̼̓̊̊ş̷̙̪̲̘̼͓̬͌͒̉̔͆̈́͗͋͝ͅȩ̶̪̲̜̦̑,̶̣̫̔̊̓̓̀̓͋͌̾̓̌̓͊͑ ̷̛̭͓̹̫̩̐͆̿͆͑̿͝h̶̜̝̹̟̳̝͔̝̺̱̀̀̈̈́̌̒̊͊͘͠e̷̥̐́͐͂̎̒̐̅̎̈̀͠͝ ̷̺̝̍̓́͋͆ḷ̶̮̘͒̆͗͋̈͆͠i̷̜͛͝ṽ̴̠̹̩̖̮̫͈͂̔̈̀͝e̷̛̼͉̘̬̱͔͚̐̔͐̏̆̈̎̆̑s̵̢̛̲͉̼̖̟͇̮̣̟̱̫̗̥͔͋̄̂͌̂͂͌̄̕͝͝ ̴̨̧̤͎̬̜̩͉͔̺̣͋̽̃͂̐̅͋̔̚͜͜͜ȉ̵̢̯̤̳̤̤̰͍̦̮̗̼̜̼̙́̏̓̉̔̈́̏̀̌̚͘ǹ̶̡̨̡̜͓̦͚̟̖̺͍̲̫̓̂̓̀̀́̕͜ͅ ̸̩̟͍͈͚̟̮̮̦̤̘̊̂́͂͆̂̈́̈͗̌̂̏̚̚͠b̶̢̙̣̦̲̖̳͋̀̅̀̈́͘͘é̶̇̓̌̓̐͜a̸̧̢̬͎͓͖͉̜̪̾́̈ç̶̧͈̗͖̩̯̺̜̊̾̄̾̎̀̇͘͠h̸͙͍͇̯̅̌ͅ ̶̛̬͚͎͎̩͔̺̿̏͒̊̀̓̈́̏̓̈̚̕͜͝͝c̶̛̜͎͔̀̍͝i̶̡̧͖͙̭͕̠͉̭͇͒̇̓͆̋͛̇́̐̄̏͠͝t̵̢͍͓͍̭̳͍̗̳͙̊̎̈̈́̔͑̋͆̒͒ẙ̶̞͂̀̋̑͐̔͒͐͒̏ͅ,̷͙̿̆̀̽̏̈́͑͊͜͠͝͝ ̶̡̛͕̯͕̦͍͓̪̣̗̣̖̞͍̎̾̄̀̈̾̎̆̓͘ạ̶̝̪͉̻̲͔̤͚͚͔̓̋͆̇́̒̏̂̒̽̊̕͘͜͜ͅn̴̛̳̯͓̰̟͇̼͉̱͇̦͚̝̽̏̿̂͝ḑ̷̥̜͉̳̓̾͂̂̚-̶̨̻̲̭̬̹͉̫̟̝͈̬̳̗̳͛͝ ̶̘̯͈̤̯͙͖͈̞̬̈̕͠ẅ̶̻̺͈̞͚̗͍̘́͜e̴̼̜̿̄͆̓͝l̶͎̼̗̫͚͙̲͕͈̰̳̥̰̠͎̋̏͋͛͑̀̃̄͒́̒̃̇l̴̛̞͕̫̓͗̆̓̂͂̽͘̚͝,̸̻̙͔̺͇̀̇́͑͋̏̇̈̽͑̑̓̍͠͝ ̸̛̣̖̠͕͖͖̖̀̀̈́̍̈́̐͌̅̋̚ͅȈ̸̡̡̛̩̱̲̭̥̹̳̪̲̥̙͙͔̈́ ̴̛̪̫͉̗̙̥̪̻̜̞̈́͐͛̽́̋ḥ̵̱̘́̌̎̉̾͊̔̄̉͊̒͘ą̷͈͉̗͉̲̙̻͂̽̀̓͋͆͊̌̐̕̕ṽ̴̛͓͖͈̋͆͂́̾͌̇̌̃͑͠ę̸̡̢͙͚̬͓̀ ̷̧̬̟͊͌̄͊̓̈̕a̶͔̩̠̥̍͊̌̀ ̶̨̟̬̤̗̭̖̺̝͚̻͋̎́̒́́͒̈̋͆̓̇̌̚͜ͅf̸̨̢͖͍̜̼͇̲̰̞͔͈̗̀̒̇͋͌̇̅͑͘͜i̴̼̱͈̦̍̈́́̃͝ļ̵̡̨̺͙̱̯̞͎̩͎͊̍̑͐͜e̵̺̰͓̥̗̝̤̰̰̟̠̊̅͆̉ ̸̲͕̟̺̘̘͙͎̝̤̤̀͐̌͒̂͘ͅw̵̺̻̯̯͇̽́̈́͘͜i̵͎͕͒̿̌͆͂̓̓̈́̇͗͝t̸͇̲͎͓̜̥̀̌̈̏̾̎̅̐h̸̨̘̯͈̙͔̖̙̯̲̞͕̼͔̽͆͛̀̓̃̀̌͜ ̷̣͈͚̝̗͕͗́ạ̷̢̲͈̹̬̣̬͍̖̹͔͊̓̉̊͜͝l̷̢̢̨̻̞̜̯͐̒͂ļ̸̢̡̖̹̹͕͙̲̰̺͚͕̆̄̄͛͂͑͆̈̊͌͛̕͜ ̶̰̯̩̞̬̪̞̗̺͉̬̞̙̋̕t̴̛̛͉̜̩̉̾͗̿̍̓͆͂̏͝h̵̢̼͙̭̫̜͇̪̤͔̅͒̓̅e̵̢̧̲̲̠̲͕̰̘̻̟͒͂̋͂̈́̆͊ͅ ̶̡̛̣͙͍̜͇̺̗̘̹̤̩̣̬̂̉̇̌́͒͋̀͑͑̈́͛̚ṃ̷̝̖̏̓͗̾̒͐̉̚͝o̴̝̘̝̗̩̹̺̣͒͂̏̏̈́̓͊͠r̸̜̠̮̮̋̅̚̕ȅ̴̢̲͙̙̬̭͙̟̪̠̂́̿̇͠ͅ ̷̥̪̥̯͍͕̗͖͉̝͍̱͒̍̅̄̌̇̀̓̅͗̕̚ͅp̸̧͔̰͓̮͓̳͙͉͚͍͕̮̭̔̌̈́͗̊́̊́͆̍̍̀͒͘ȩ̶̼̠̼͇̬͍͖̥̼͖͔̓̏̈́̓̽͊̕͝r̴̢͉̥̳̟̳̘̫̱̜͛͋̀͆̑̀̂́̽̐̇͂̽̕͝ţ̶̧͓̬̰͕͔̗͕͕̺̻̹̣̽̌̀̌̃́̈̍̈́͊̇́͑̃ì̵̡̀̀̅̈́̇̂͋̿̇̄͆͌͝n̶̢̯̬̣̯̜̻͕͚̱̰͌̓͋è̸̢̛̟̬̜̟̗̙̥̔̈́͊̎̇͆͝n̵̛̰͕̦̲͍̖̥͙̔̍̑̏̑͗̈́̿̈́͌͊̈̕t̵͖̮̝͎͚̭̐ ̵̨͇͚͎͖̣̰͈͎͖͍̺̪͖̃̍͛̉i̵̢̧͉̻̟̳͙͇̙͕̠̙̲̱̫̒̂̍̔ň̸̨̨̨͈͓͉̥͔̪̫̠̗̹̩́̈́́̂͐̈́͘f̴̢̟̻͓͚͕̠̟̩̈́̅ơ̸̛̖̈͒͗̓͋͑̄̈͋̐͘̚ȑ̶̢̢̛͕̖̬̗̜̫̟̪͈̰͓͙͗͗͊̔͜m̵̡̡̠̝̺͈͖̲̽́̔̈̒̽̈͘a̶̲̖͚̖͕͔̖͉̪̻̠̦̱̯͚̔̌̋t̸͇̰̮̩͔̩̀̋̿͆͌̋̀̏ḯ̴̧̧̢̛͍̩̪̣͍̥̃̒̃̀́͒͌́͋̈̋̕̕ö̷̦̭̘̼͚̘̼̭̜̮́̀̅̅̒́̿̊̚n̸̢̖̱̟̠̙̟̱̺̠̺̠̜̤͆̽̌͒͊̋̊̏̌ ̶͇̤̗̑͒̒͊̈́͊̀͗͒͑͐ţ̸̡̫͙̦̩͍̪̼͇̤̯͂̏̀̓̀͊̈͌ḧ̸̢̳̤̱̯̳̯̤͚͙̥̠̓̃̓̓̇͛̀̏̆̾̕̚͘ͅa̶̺͙̻̒͠t̷̢̨͎͖̬̩̲̺̱̐̌͂̂̎̔̀̕ͅ ̴̗͙̓͆I̸̡̧̧̦̙͍̹͈̝̘̳̠͎̤̓̈́̇̽͂͝'̷͚̩̝̺̥̘͉̆͛̌̽ļ̶̻̬̯͚̱̬͈͙̗̤̲̘͔̓̇̆̊͆̄̑́l̶̞̝̭͎̩̳͕͋͂̉́̍̈́̇́͆́͂͌̌̈́̕ ̸̗̱̠͍̻̼̪̟͙̈͒͗̃̓̓̊̆̿̎̚l̴̦͖͍̲̫̼͎̾̉̀̈́̀͊͗̇̿͐ͅẻ̷͔͈̮͎̱̞͚̫̥̮̻̙͜ͅą̷͙̬̈͆͗̆͌̔̍̃͋͝v̵͖̭̍̏̔̉͘͠e̴͕̲̲̬͕͚͔̍̂̅̐͛̈́̈́̍͛͜͝ ̴̢̩̜͎̼͚̭̬͍͇̯͍͂͌̈́̄͗̀̑̋̈͒͝f̸̨̨̼̯̹̹̫͈̖̲͙̗̉̎̑͐ŏ̷̭̓͂̍̇͂̈̑̋̎́̓̍͘͝r̴̛̳̰̝̹̟̽̒̒̃͋͑̐̆̉̀̀̑͊̆ ̵̡̢͎̬̼̮̭̤̦͎͙̮̦̬̭̑̊͘y̷͙̣̲̯̓̾̿͘͠͝ͅō̷̟̗͖̳͓̈́̈́̚̕̚u̷̲̟̫̙͆̾́͛̊͋.̶̻̞̺̉"̵̨̛͇̣̘̼̝̖̤̰͈͈̫̈́͌̈́̚͝(1)

He places the file on the table, and then summons several vials filled with odd liquids.

"T̶̤͕͇̀̎̄̇̏̚h̴̦̠̭̠̀͂̇͆̓̀͛̅̉̇̓̉̕ȇ̵̱̼̘̖͉̮͕͔̩̪̇͌̍̆͊̇̎͆̾̈́͝͝s̴̭̘͔̦̫̲̦͚̔̓͗̈́͛̐̐̈̋͠e̶͓̮̅̄͆̀̿̀͝ ̴̢̯̺̭̥̞̝̉͋͝v̴̖͙̐̐̈́͑̚͜ĭ̴͐̓̈̈́̓̒̽̇̆͜͜͝a̴̮͚̥̔͒͌̿̏̋̚l̷͔͈̦̙͇̩̟̉̓̈́̍͊̅̚͝s̸̢̙̠̼̠̱̋͋͐̿̚ ̴̡̛͔̗̩̖͙̗̌̊̌̉̉ć̶̡̟̗̜̰̠̜̙̭͔͙̟̆͆̌̓̾̊͋́̎͠ó̵̥͖̖͈͎̯̟͖̙̠̲̺̠̺̂̌̀̉͗̽̈́̈́̔̓͝n̷̡̦͉̞͇̖͖͎̅̎̋̎͆̅͛̕͜͝ţ̸͔̮̗̼̺͌͐̋̅̐̎a̴̱̪̘̠͈͇̘̼͚̫̝̽̄̑͘ͅȉ̴̠̜̀͑̌͆͒̋͊̔̚͝͝n̵̡̧̧̬̤̣̣̩̲̫̭̉̍͗͌̓͂͜ͅ ̴͉̦̈́̈͂͒̌̚͝ḡ̵̣̹̝̝̅̀̅̓̓̂̾̓̿̚͠ȩ̷̡̡̱̞̠͖̳̬̹̥̘͕̟̄̔̚n̵̺̮͙͙̗̿̒̏͌̌͒̇̊̎̈́̊̎̓͝e̷̢̬͕͖̭̞̘͉̤͖̦͖̓t̵̩̬̞̣̼͇̬̖̟̿̅̀̾̓̈͋̈́͒̓͂͑̕̕͝į̸̫̜͙̩̣̺̫̩̻̞̩̼̜̝̇̒͑̓̎́͌̄̿̕͘̕͝c̴̖̟̊́͌̾̃͝ͅ ̶͓͍̟͉̹̰̥͖̟͚́̐͒̽͛̑͒̒͠ș̶̡͙̝͔̟͖̯̱͐̊̂̂̑̌͛͝ả̸̢̢͉̜̗̣̬͚͎̩͔̥̿̌̎̋̏̔͆̐̔̚͠ͅͅḿ̵̨̢̗̣̼͍̪͔̼̀̉͝p̸̧̡̨̗̠̠̣̞̭̠̭̦̤̰̘̈́̆̈́̎̈̄͗̈̐̕̚͠l̸̛̗͋̌̑̂̀̒͗̓̉̀͐̓̂̕ḛ̷͎͙͕̪͉̗̫͔͉̪̣̿̀̄̈́̔ͅs̵̢̢̛̻̲̯͍̬̞̔̋̎͗̔͑͌́̓̾̔͘͘͜͝ ̷̛̯̙͉͚͓̫́̀͜͜ǫ̷̢̨̫̖͇͕̳͉̗̬͙̿̔͜ͅf̴̡̨̢̙͓̞̘̺̪̟̳̲̓̏͜͜ ̴̡̨̟̩̺͖͚͚͉̱͍̗̮̊̈́̑͝ȃ̷̛̪̮̂͐̽́̿̾̚̚͠ĺ̵͍̯͖͙͌̈̊̔͆̈́̅̓͂̽l̶̩̱̞͖̠̹̣͈̳̯̼̬̈͊̏̓̔́̀̀̑͋̃͋̕͝ ̸̩̠͔͆͒͌y̶̧̨͎̭̫͔̜̗̪͙̹͚͆̈̈́͋o̶͚̣̼͓̯̥͚͑̋͑̇͠ȕ̵̢̺̠̥͔̤̟̘̗͓̭̆̏̉̌̔̑̔͊͗͘͝ͅr̷̞̬͈̰̳̳͙̙̱̓͆͜͜ ̸̢̝̗̜̱̰̤̘̤̣͖̗́́̓̑̃̅́̂f̷̧̹̟̖̝̯̹̮̳̠͙͓̙̏̊͑̌̀͋̆͛͊̊͋̈́̇͠ŏ̴̘͈̟̗̗͉̭̣͖̠͊͐̉̔̔̒̊̔̈͊̔̕͝r̴̛̛̰̪̖̮͎̯͖̙̦̲̭͔̼̬͔̉͛̋͆̒̀̀͝ṃ̷̨͈͓̾̄͑̏̐̂̈́̒͋̌̍̃͘͠è̷̡̟͈̹̺̞̜̝̬͖̅̑́̈́͋͛͊̋͆̇̃r̴̢̤͉͈̙̯͖͙̒́̃͂͝ ̵̝̱̗̳̱̣̼̜̥͕̣͗̔͒̈́͗̽͋̂̾̿͂̚͜͜͝͝ͅͅÄ̷̘̹̭͓͔͚̝͔̩͚̗͆̎̅͋̐̓̔̀̇͠k̷̢̘̞̞̜̫͎̙̝̜̭̳̂̆̌̎̀̐͜a̵̪̿̐̌̆̽̍̽͌̋̓̊͂͘͝͠t̶͚̘̺̬͚̗̣̘̎́̀͛̀ͅs̸̛̼͔̞͓͍̝̝̖͖̼͚̠̆̑̑̊̀̎͊̇̉͑͘͠ͅų̷̠͈̺̦̪̺͇͎͙̥̭͍̏̈̔̉͊̿̄̕̚͝k̷͙̄͋̔̉́̔͘͘i̵̛̪͋́͑̈̑̃͝ ̴̡̼̘̳̩̥͒̈̽̌͆͆́̓͊̎̑̕̕ĉ̶̩̳̲̺͎̱͔̻͖̱̲̳̾͒̆̀̒̂̔̏̌̈́̏̕̕o̷̲͉̰͛̇͑̕ḿ̸̡̛̻̗͕̱̺̀̐̏̓̽͘r̸͎̍̎̎̈́̒̂̋͒͝á̶̱̺͙̼̳́̒̅̆̓̏̓̀̉̃̂̽̍͐d̷͓̱̝̳̩͖̦̻̹̲̙͆̌̃͒̂̔̕̚͝e̵͎̰̣̠̭̒͋͊̿̉͝s̶̠͍͔̬̜͉͓̺͕̬̺̞̈́̋̑͑̂̔̊͒̓̒.̷̢̨̛̜͕̘̩̣͍̰̹̥̼͖̇̑͗̉̿̽̎.̸̡͙̤͉̘̦̾̇͝.̵̢̠̼͓̜̪̤͉͍̣̍̏͗̓ą̶̧̯̪̼̻̖͉̜̬͋̄́͒͊͘s̴̫̖͒̑͊̇͂̇ ̷̧̡͔͎̋͠ͅw̴̻̰̼̻̮͚͓̣̿̒̎͑̄́͌̏͛͐͊̕ę̷̡̢̧̡̛̗̰̯͊͆̅̆͘l̴̨̛̰͉̻̠̿͑́̉̂̍̎̾̏͝ļ̷̢̛͕͍̲̪͉̖͇̲͓̊̂́̂͒̅̈́͐̈́̈́͜͜ ̶̘̫̃́͆̌̄̊͐̾͘â̷̡̛̟̥͕̤̥̟̍͋̒̿̒̋̔̾s̴̢̻̦̳͉̩̜͍̰̜̣͎̰͚̆́̀͜ ̷̡̥̝̠̟̬̹͓͇̗̬̌͋̃͗̈́̋̇̈͊̚̚ͅH̷̛̺̉͐̅͌́a̸̳͓͔̘̩̮̲̣̠̎̇̒͒̓̄̒̏͝͠ͅn̴̟͎̮̞̥̳̯͎̣̰̏͑̏̀z̴̨̧͔͓̦͖̯̯͑̽̈͐̈́͌̐̈́̋̐̃̒ò̸̦̝̣̫͙̬̬̬̔̀̏̽̉͗̉͌͜͝͝'̷̧̆͑̇͝s̸̨͎̘̪̮̲͛͆̒́ ̷̨̢̼̦̪̖͍̺͇̣͔̼̺̻̀̀́̀͒̂a̷̧͚̤͙͔̻͚̩̗̔̕ͅs̶̨̛̭̿̈́̅͛͊͋̃͒̓̊̇͝͝ ̴̧̨̗̟̥̹̗̀͗̐̚̚ą̵̨̨̳̳͖̞̙̫͚͇͍̳͙̃͛̾͛͒̽̈́͐ ̶̹̬̖̼̈́̾̈̓̕b̷̪͙̠̿͗̃̆̄̀̇̈́͂̇̀͝͠ớ̴̧͈̝̊̀̔̏̒̈́́̑̎͝ņ̷͍̰̥̗̰̟͔͍̞̮̉͛͌̽̄͗̽̌̓̈́̀͂̚ǘ̶̦̺̱̺͓͖̻̃̈͂̑̔̊̈́̇͑̒̊͘s̶̳͉͙̦̦̠͓̔̊́͌̑̎͑͆̇͐̀ͅ!̶̢͙̳̩̪̘̉̃̈́(2)"̷͎̦͍͎̳̱͔̘̮͋̈́͑̇̽̄̑̓͊̅ͅ ̵̼̫͚͝

Orchimaru, still paralyzed in fear of this abomination...simply sat their quietly as Slenderman detailed his scheme and gave him the means to enact it...as well as outline the punishment if he didn't...

...

"I'm gonna disappear without ever making a single friend!" Connie cries and sits down.

Suddenly Connie is illuminated by a strange glow she looks up to see Steven handing her a glow bracelet and stops crying. "We can be friends. I saw you at the Boardwalk Parade last year. You dropped your bracelet. I picked it up, but then I couldn't find you. I saved it in the freezer so it would last longer, in case I saw you again."

"Oh! You were the kid on the car wash float." She chuckles. "You had soap bubbles in your hair." Steven blushes and laughs. "I was supposed to be a scrub brush. I'm sorry Connie", he puts bracelet on her. "If I had returned your bracelet back then, you wouldn't be stuck in this bubble with me now." She blushes, "No, it's okay. I'm having fun..."

Suddenly The bubble suddenly bursts and Steven leads Connie to the surface...

 **CHOMP!**

And then they both get swallowed by a giant snake...

...

Steven groaned as he woke up, the first thing he noticed was that he was cold, second he was strapped to an operating table, third he was naked.

"Wha!? Where are my clothes!? And where's Connie?!"

"Ku-Ku-Ku. Relax my boy...all will be well."

Steven saw a strange man with snake-like features emerge from the shadows.

"Who- Who are you?" Asked Steven.

"Why my name is Orochimaru, little boy...and you and are going to be BEST friends."

Suddenly his necks elongates and bites down on Steven's neck!

Steven screams as the cursed mark spreads, filling his body with agony...he then drifts away to sleep as the mad men gets to work slicing him open...

…III...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **(1): translation:** **"Did you just- Never mind! Look, long story short: I know who your perfect vessel COULD be. His name is Steven Universe, he lives in beach city, and- well, I have a file with all the more pertinent information that I'll leave for you."**

 **(2): These vials contain genetic samples of all your former Akatsuki comrades...as well as Hanzo's as a bonus!"**

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**  
 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	2. Chapter 2

**Perfection is in the eyes of Steven**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...

 **AN: this is based on the 'perfection challenge' made by** **dracohalo117!  
.**

...III...

When Steven first woke up...all he could comprehend was that his neck felt like it was on fire! He groaned as he got to his knees and crawled to some nearby water, he splashed it on his neck to cool it down...then his reflection showed that where the 'fire' was a swirling, throbbing, pulsing tattoo was now there!...also he was naked.

"GAH! A TATTOO! PEARL WILL KILL ME!" Shouted Steven, the fact he was naked didn't really register with him. Being born and raised in a house where his caretakers were 'technically' naked left him rather aloof about nudity. He mainly wore clothes to keep humans from feeling uncomfortable and because he prided himself for being 'civilized'.

But then he realized he was in some kinda jungle...and that there wasn't-

"CONNIE!? WHAT ABOUT CONNIE!? I NEED TO FIND HER!" Screamed Steven as his memories came back...

 **CHOMP!**

-Which was a mistake as it attracted unwanted attention, in the form of a strange shark-like creature covered in spikes it jumped from the water and completely neutered him. A frightened and screaming in agony Steven is forced to run as the creature uses it's spikes like legs to run on land...

Meanwhile, on the opposite side of the jungle a naked Connie was having a similar problem... A fairly large scorpion that seemed to be made of wood and steel-like orginaic substances was chasing her.

She'd found a strange, pink, rose-themed sword lying around. She immediately turned and positioned it like she'd read in her books-

-And the beast immediately knocked it and her aside.

"THEY MADE THIS LOOK SO MUCH EASIER IN THE BOOK!" Screamed Connie as she fled in panic...

Nearby, Slenderman just shook his head, "̴̢̧̥̞̻̻͙̺̺͉̽͊̓͗ **R̵͎̃̀̅̋̈́̎̀̏̒̈͘͠i̶̧͓̯͔̪̽͋̓̀͛͗́͝g̵̻̞̒͗͛́͘͘͠͝ȟ̷̞̱̮̩̼̩̯̺͈̫̍̒͐̚t̴̠̀̀͘,̵̙̻̂͋̓̈́̈́͂́̚̚ͅ ̶̧̧̠̗̖̘̳̱͑͛̎̆̿̑̉̐̈̀̔̈̄ͅÍ̶̗̤̞̖͙̭̦̈́̐̌̆̉̍̊̅̒̒̄͘'̷̛̜̘̭͚̯͕͇̪̜̞̾̀ͅͅm̶̨̧̫͍̹̟̤̭̙̅́̉̑̐̍̚͘ ̵̧̡̘̼̬̙̗̱͕̗̞̙̹̊̄͌́́j̷͓͐͐̏̎̆̋͘ͅu̶̢̜̾̀̅́̌̕͝s̶̱̪͓̦̳̈̌̇̔t̶͕̯̥̱̲̋̓̄͋̑̽͂͐̌̈́̐͝͝ ̸̩̥̰̞̰̝͔̪͇͈̞͓̞͗͌̏͒̒̄̓̓̚g̸̱̝̲̗̲͍̬̱̮̔̍͗̓̇͘̚̚o̵̰͂͐͆̏̽̇̑̅ͅi̵̡̢͓̦̟̗͚̓͆̀̚̕͜ͅn̴̥͈͓̥̥̜͇̐̿̑͒̅͌̈͊͊̂̓͝g̶͎̯̝̟̝̈́͛́̑͑̌͆̔̈͝ ̶͇̭̘̭̲͈̿̎̈̈́̽̂̀̆̉̚̚̚͝t̸̡͇͇̜͖̹̦̞̓͂̃̐̓̌͝ò̸̡̱͙͇̲͈ ̷̩̳̳̀́͆̽̈̾͘͝t̴̢͍̰̖̀͊̓į̸̭̻̠̼̞̋̚m̶̱̹̼̄͗̉͋̀͆͋͋̏̕͝͠͝é̸̱̞̫̓-̵̨͍͕̬̼̙̦͕͊͛̽̀̃̊̾̊̌̄̌̒͠s̵̭̮͇̗͍͍̹̝͔̰̘̝͕̾̊͌̅͗̽̌́͗k̷̠͎̟̼͍̮͉̪͒̊̂͑́̑͆̚͜͝ĭ̶̢̨̥̥̩̟͔̻̼̼͙͔̊͆͜p̴̮̙̪͖̩̟̘͚͖͇͊ ̶̲͙̳̰̾͋̽̎͊̑̀̅̀̑͘͝n̷̢̟̈́̈́̈͌̃͗́̃̾̈̌͘o̶̡̨̼̟̦͆͛̏̓͋̽̚w̷̦̖̓̒.̴̨̙̰͕̖͓͍͇̣̪̤̻͒̍̀͝.̵̧̖͖͖̘͚͓̟̗̟́̒.̸̧̰̤̼̘̰̥̜̟̥̩͕͋̋͊ͅở̸̢̺̗̦̯̖͖̯̞͍͍͍̔͌̊̕͝͝͠͝ṫ̸̮̑̆͊͋͊͝ḩ̶̧͓̬͈̟̩̐̽͒͂͐̂̈́͐̑̎̓͛̚ͅͅĕ̵̤̞͎̜͐̀͋̔̇̇̃̀͑ͅř̵̡̛̛̩͎͙̹̫͙̝̬͉͑̔̎ẅ̴̨̨̥̜͚̰̻̠̟̺̺͙́̈́̉ͅỉ̷͍̥̖̺̦̑̂͒̕ş̵̬̲̽͌̎͒͑͗̚͝ë̵̺̞̫̳́͗̊̈́̀̐̇͑̍ ̴̢̯͎̥̼̻̍t̴̲̽̿͠h̴̛͙̅̀̾̐̄̋͂̄͗̾̈́i̶̢̢̙͚̬͈̮͖̦̝̰͖͒̄́̍̎͊̑s̸̨̝̮̞̩̲̖̎̍̒͜ͅ ̴̧̼̰̬̼͓͚͗į̸̢̙̦̻̹͖͚̹̟̫̮̈́͆̿̋͋̒͠ͅf̸̗̘̤̣̝͇͈̗̓ ̷̢̛͖̼̻͙̬̹͔̈̄̐̌͜ĝ̶̜̙͒̿̓̂̒̇́̓͊̀͠ô̵̱̳͕̖̦̠̔̈́̈́̈́̃͂̽̈́͑͐͝i̸̭͖̜͛̋͊͆̕͝n̷̨̨̬̼̟̖̠̜̝͎̪̬͌̈́ģ̴̩̥͙̋̓̋̀̿̃̾̐̑ ̴̨̛̝̪̙̪̺͖̻̉̂͒̔̎̔͆̾́͝ţ̸̢̛̗̠̳̯̦͔͈̪̭̍̎͜͝o̷̝̹͚̩̤͂̋͊ ̶̢̛͓͖̩̀̒̌̿͌͗͋̚͝͠ģ̵̢̪̤̳͇̼͇̭͛e̴̡̧̲̝̻̝̦͕͈̦͐̂̈́̋͗̉͋̔̀̆̍ͅt̸̡̙̫̬̣̰̤̱̥̰͛̅̾̿̓͜͜͝͠ ̸̨̭̤̺͓̖̠̳̝̼̫́̑̈̄͜ŕ̵̨͈̞̱̂͒e̷̡̻̣̰̞̬̥̗̩̠͍̱͇̅̊̅̽͗̂̔ą̸̣̩͍̦̼͙̪̯̠̯̆͛͑̓̐̿̕͜ͅl̴͔̖̩̤̜͖̩̍͊̂̃̉̇̂̈́͒͋l̷̯̦͕͔̣̥̾̑́̏͗̎̓̌͑y̴̦͌̑̅͐̔̅͑̒̏̍̑́͝ ̷̧̲̺̰̲̖̪̺̰̦͇̘̀̒̀̆̒̉͘ͅb̴̩̰̺̠̄̓̋̽̓̔̐́͐͒̕͝ǫ̸̡͎̼͓̞̲͓͔̼̼̱̼̈̎̀̑̂͌͊̃̑̉͘ŕ̵͙̦̟͓̠̍͒̾̋́̕i̴̢͓͒̓̌̈́̊̆́̏͗͝͠n̴̹̒̇̂͗͗́͠͝g̶̱̠̉̓͐̈́̓̄̈́̎͑͝,̶̢̛͈̙͍̰̲̼̠̥̈́͋̃̔̑̍͘̚͜ ̷̭̜͈̘̣͖̗̦̖̉̌̑̓͝ͅv̸̛̱͈̭͎͙̆̂͆̒̓̌̾͜ę̸̮͚̘̦̩̣́ͅṙ̵̮̺͈̄̊̽͜͝y̴̠̠̘̟̰̣͍̭̬̝̥̙̏͛͛̾̈́̈́̐̊͑̆̂ ̶͎͕̒͒̐̔̀̈́̀̌̐͝f̶̫̬̼͐̎͆̏̐̚͜͝͠a̶̙̺̥̗̮̳͎͖̟̟̓̌̋̇͛̈́͋̿̉̃͌͜͠ŝ̸̨̺̲̯͚̤̻̤̰̞͙͙͌͆ͅţ̵͈̜̠͉̬̣̲̲̅̿͂.̵̧͖̖̯̈̊̄.̸̼̺̜̉̑.̸̢̘͍͙̙̋͋͌̍̃̈"̸̭̤͎̮̲̳̐̐**

...a week later...

Steven was tired, hungry, coverd in bug bites, he had numerous rashes from crawling through the strange fauna, he had REAL bite marks from all the things that wanted to eat him. Fortunately, his gem biology helped him regenerate faster which was good because-

 **CHOMP!  
**

 **GAH!**

"SERIOUSLY!? AGAIN!?" Shouted an aggravated Steven as a clay-like doll thong with multiple arms that had mouths filled with teeth at the end of his hands jumped out of the bush to bite off his dick for the fifth time that day.

Stupid creatures loved to eat his genitals, true his biology made sure they grew back quickly...BUT IT HURT LIKE BLOOD FRACK IT!

Steven was seeing red, he had had it, he hated this place, he wanted to leave, AND HE WANTED TO FIND CONNIE! WHO MIGHT BE DEAD NOW FOR ALL HE KNEW!

That last thought...that last horrible thought finally gave Steven the emotional clarity he needed to summon his shield and slam it against the creatures face...again...and again...and again...and again...and again...

...the beast stops moving as it's face is crushed to paste...but Steven keeps at it...until he's exhausted...

Steven pants...falls on his hands and knee's ...then he sees what he's done...and curls to a fetal position and sobs...

...

Meanwhile, the scorpion-like creature FINALLY finds it's prey again...it's sitting out in the open...it's stench all over it...

It screams and jumps on her and swallows her...only to scream in pain! It's prey was was a dummy! Stuffed with fauna that caused painful blisters...

 **CRASH!**

It's pain distracted it long enough for a log to swing in on a bunch of vines and smack it through the air-

 **CRASH!**

Causing it to land on a hidden pit of spikes, skewering and killing it almost instantly...

Connie walked out of her hiding spot and glared as the beast that tormented and chased her day and night lied dying in agony...it had been awkward smearing her fecal matter on the dummy to get her scent right...AND on the spikes to make sure it died...but it was worth it...she was a hunter now...

She promptly vomits...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


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